I used to have tons of anxiety that people would find out that I was a “fake.”
When I was 19 years old, I landed a job as a makeup artist for a very famous rock band. There was a constant fear in the back of my mind that someone was going to figure out that I wasn’t as cool, talented, or together as I appeared to be, and send me packing.
Imposter syndrome is actually a “thing,” and it affects a majority of the population. It’s the fear that you don’t deserve what you have, and you could be exposed at any moment. Studies show that it’s one of the most common fears out there, especially in women.
I was definitely not alone in feeling like a big phony. Tina Fay, Em...
Is all of this crazy energy we've been experiencing lately making you feel like curling up into a ball and hiding from everyone and everything? Before you give up, watch this weeks vlog by the Happy Empath herself, Barbara Buck.
If you'd like to subscribe to The Happy Empath Youtube channel, click here.
“How am I ever going to figure out my life purpose when I’m so scatterbrained?”
A client emailed me this question recently. She was very frustrated with herself because she never finished what she started. She started writing a book, then lost interest, then moved on to a painting she began a few weeks before. She got bored with that, so she decided she really needed to focus on learning a new healing modality.
She is passionate about all of these things when she starts them, but she never enjoys doing them because she spends most of her time struggling with trying to figure out which thing is her “life purpose.” When she can’t decide which one she should sti...
In the last couple of years, people have gotten really free and easy with labeling other human beings “toxic.” You see articles like “How to Avoid Toxic People Like the Plague” and “How to Recognize a Toxic Person.” You hear people say, “Oh, that guy was totally toxic. I stopped dating him ages ago.”
When did it become acceptable in the healing community to judge and label people this way?
Calling someone toxic strips them of their humanity. We are judging them as less than we are, so that we feel superior. We are saying, “I have a right to judge you because you are struggling and it shows in your behavior.”
It appalls me that this word gets used the most in t...
Everyone has moments when their self-esteem feels a little shaky. For some people, though, it can be a constant struggle. We can try to fake confidence in a number of ways, but until we get to the deeper reasons behind why we feel the way that we do about ourselves, low self-esteem is something that we will always have to contend with.
Most of us have a skewed perception of our value that’s based on other people’s judgments of who we are. We define ourselves through the eyes of others, and usually not in a positive way. Seeing other people as your mirror can be a bad habit, because sometimes their perception of you is like looking in a fun house mirror...
“Just be yourself.” Sounds like great advice, right? We are offered this nugget of wisdom when we go for a job interview, or to meet a date for the first time. The problem with these three little words is that most of us have no idea who “we” are. How can we be authentic if we don’t know ourselves?
Think of how much time and energy we spend on managing our image. We get up in the morning and do our hair, choose a certain style of clothing for whatever we are doing that day, put on one face for our kids and another for our boss. It’s exhausting, when you think about it.
Most people don’t intentionally try to be inauthentic. We don’t even know we are doing it som...
So you’re feeling like you are in a rut. It’s a mindset that we all have sometimes. Normally the best thing to do is to push through it, but can getting stuck ever be a good thing?
We can feel stuck for a number of reasons. Regardless of what the circumstances are, it always points to the fact that what we are doing isn’t working anymore. It can feel like there are only two options in this situation; fight our way out of it, or give up. There is a third option, though.
Stop and observe.
Sometimes we get stuck because we are focusing attention on things that don’t benefit us, or aren’t in alignment with higher self. We are missing clarity. A rut can be a wonderf...
Loneliness is not the same thing as being alone. You can find yourself alone without feeling lonely just as easily as you can feel horribly secluded in the midst of many people. One of the best things that I have learned when I felt isolated from family and friends is that letting loneliness overwhelm me is a choice, and life is too short to let emotions like that overrule my happiness.
Let me preface this post by saying that I am beyond blessed by the amount of love that I am surrounded with. The periods of time that I struggled and felt alone were not because my loved ones abandoned me in any way; they were just necessary times for me to 'find myself' on my...
I’m blessed to have my dream job, but it wasn’t too long ago that, come Monday morning, I was moaning and groaning along with the rest of the world at having to go to work. Believe it or not, there are some things that you can do to be happy at the job that you have right now.
Being happy is a skill that takes practice. You have to work at it and be intentional about experiencing it. If you are in a job that seems hard to get up for in the morning, then here are some well documented tips and tricks to help you find a little joy in your day.
Studies show that people are happier at work when they feel like they are helping others. You don’t have to work for a no...
At my last job, everyone thought our maintenance guy was horrible. He was consistently the gruffest, crankiest person I’ve ever met. He was also one of my favorite people. I know a secret a lot of people don’t know about grouches; they can be the kindest, most loyal people around. I also understand that their meanness isn’t about me.
Most people aren’t cranky as a personal choice. We assume that they don’t care how their behavior affects someone, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. There are very few people who wake up in the morning thinking to themselves “Today I’m going to be a jerk.”
There could be a multitude of reasons why someone is ill-temper...
There are some who believe that John Lennon is alive and well and living in a piano.
Well, not literally living in a piano. They feel that the essence of his message of peace and love was infused into the piano when he composed Imagine, and that if you touch and play it, you can feel his presence within you.
When Caroline True took the piano on tour to cities and towns that had suffered a recent tragedy, even the hardiest of skeptics were moved by it. One woman said after playing it, that “it was like sleeping in your grandpa's sweatshirt at night. Familiar, beautiful, and personal."
Believing that you can feel the spirit of John Lennon in a piano is a form of...
People sometimes make fun of tree huggers and nature lovers, but science is now giving us the last laugh. Being in nature can boost our health in a number of ways.
Research shows that hugging trees can have an effect on the brain. Matthew Silverstone’s book Blinded by Science refers to countless studies that indicate that touching and being near trees has a positive impact on ADHD, depression, reaction levels, behavioral issues, and concentration.
While some researchers have come to the conclusion that getting fresh air and exercise are what causes this, Silverstone takes it a big step further. He believes, and cites numerous studies to back his idea up, that...
I volunteer quite a bit. When I mention it to people, I feel strangely uncomfortable when they say things like “How wonderful to do such a kind and selfless thing.” I was never really sure where my discomfort came from until recently.
There is a man at the soup kitchen that I occasionally volunteer at, who has been there for many years. When a volunteer mentioned to him that his kindness was an inspiration to her, he said “Don’t be inspired by me. It’s not kindness that motivates me to serve- it’s guilt.”
That statement stopped me in my tracks and made me think. Could guilt also be the motivating factor behind my kindness, and is that the reason behind why I a...