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The Pollyanna Report: The Sunny Side of Being Single

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and I’ll be single for it…again.

I supposed that I should be frustrated at my ever long status of being alone, but nothing could be further from the truth. I feel really blessed to have this time to myself.

Whenever anyone single says this, no one believes them. They think we are deluding ourselves. I had a friend tell me recently that she thought that I had become too comfortable being independent and on my own. She decided that I couldn’t really be happy being alone. No one could.

She’s partially right. I have become really comfortable not being in a relationship. When people ask me if I’m ever lonely, I can honestly say no. I am really good company!

There are plenty of reasons that being single is good for the soul.

1. You get to be your “authentic” self. Being single gives you the opportunity to develop as a “whole” person in a way that can be difficult when you are in a relationship. You have more time to get to know yourself without defining who you are based on another person. You can grow and develop as an individual.

2. There is satisfaction in being the “ultimate” decision maker about personal space. You don’t have to confer with anyone when deciding what color to paint your kitchen, or which mattress to buy. You can set up your home however you choose.

3. You can be spontaneous without having to “check in” and make sure that it’s okay with someone else.

4. Your kitchen only has your food in it. This might not seem like a big deal, but when you’re trying to lose weight or eat healthy, there is nothing worse than a fridge filled with your partners “comfort” food. It’s like torture.

5. You have more time for self-care. It’s hard enough as it is to squeeze in time at the gym, a massage, or enough sleep. When you are in a relationship, your time for taking care of yourself diminishes, no matter how committed you are to it. It can be hard to find the balance.

6. You can nurture your spirituality. The first thing that I do when I wake up in the morning is a gratitude practice, then I meditate. I can focus on the present moment without interruption in a way that I can’t when someone else needs my attention. Being single is like being a seed underground in the wintertime. You get to nourish and strengthen your root system by focusing your energy on having a healthy base.

7. You are in charge of your social time. Want to go see an art film at the midnight showing on a Wednesday? How about stay in on a Friday and cozying up to a good book in your jammies? No problem! Your social calendar is as busy or as empty as you want it to be.

Barbara Buck is a Foundational Reconnective Healing Practitioner, writer, and teacher. For more information about her, please visit her website at Check her out on the Happy Empaths Twitter feed @the_empath.

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