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Loving an Empath

Empaths are highly sensitive souls, and being in a relationship with one can make a person feel like they are dating outside of their species. It’s not for the faint of heart. We are elusive creatures who sometimes avoid intimacy because we don’t want to feel consumed and suffocated by another person.

We feel everything, but that’s not necessarily what makes it so difficult to be in relationships. More often, it’s that we absorb other people’s emotions and energy so much that we barely feel our own. Our boundaries can be poor to the point where we don’t know where we end and others begin.

We rarely take love lightly because it’s difficult for us to open our hearts. When we do, it’s messy and explosive. We don’t know how to love any other way but BIG.

We often find ourselves in relationships with people who try to control us. They tell us to “calm down,” “don’t be so sensitive,” “be rational,” or “take it down a notch.” They try to clip our wings, and in response we might shut down, retaliate, or become passive-aggressive.

Sometimes we leave.

Our empathy is our gift to the world. When we are asked or told not to express it, we cause ourselves damage. We can become depressed, reclusive, or physically ill. We came here to bring in more light, and if we hobble our abilities so that other people are more comfortable, we die inside.

We love spending time with a partner, but it’s just as important to have our alone time. We need space to decompress because it can be exhausting to feel all of the energy around us, and sometimes we need to just feel ourselves.

Empaths are highly intuitive, so we are not easily lied to. It’s hard enough to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, but dishonesty makes us feel betrayed in a way that can take a long time to heal. Even little lies can ruin the relationship. We know when you suffer, or are angry. You can’t hide anything from us.

If you are a jealous person, then you might want to look elsewhere for a partner. Jealousy feels awful and it can cause us to want to stifle our love. We have fierce, emotionally intimate friendships with people of both sexes that we shower with energy and affection.

We can be extremely emotional, so sometimes we need to get lost in our tears. Give us space and allow us to do what we need to do in order to heal.

If we are too much for you, then let us go.

Barbara Buck is a Foundational Reconnective Healing Practitioner, writer, and teacher. For more information, please visit her website at

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