I used to have tons of anxiety that people would find out that I was a “fake.”
When I was 19 years old, I landed a job as a makeup artist for a very famous rock band. There was a constant fear in the back of my mind that someone was going to figure out that I wasn’t as cool, talented, or together as I appeared to be, and send me packing.
Imposter syndrome is actually a “thing,” and it affects a majority of the population. It’s the fear that you don’t deserve what you have, and you could be exposed at any moment. Studies show that it’s one of the most common fears out there, especially in women.
I was definitely not alone in feeling like a big phony. Tina Fay, Emma Watson, and Maya Angelou have all publicly discussed their issues with it, so I was in good company.
Some of us have imposter syndrome because of being taught to have self-doubt, while others find themselves lacking compared to the illusion of perfection that inundates the media.
I didn’t have a name for how I felt at the time, but I knew that I wasn’t happy, which was preposterous considering my lifestyle. For ten years I lived in discomfort, waiting for the rug to get pulled out from under me, until I finally decided to quit the entertainment industry and try something else.
I stopped feeling like an imposter when I started to recognize my own value. I stopped caring what other people thought and started doing things that made me feel good about myself, instead of doing things so that other people would feel good about me.
Now I see that my imposter syndrome was a wonderful blessing. It eventually pushed me out of a fast paced life and career that I really wasn’t built for, and into one that I’m really passionate about.
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Barbara Buck is an Etheric Attachment Release Facilitator, Foundational Reconnective Healing Practitioner, writer, and teacher. For more information about her, please visit her website at www.barbarabuck.org . Check her out on the Happy Empaths Twitter feed @the_empath.